Some women or couples might be concerned about not carrying their baby themselves, because they have questions about the role a surrogate will play and what the relationship will look like between an embryo and a surrogate, and then the baby and the surrogate. I knew surrogacy was the right path for me when I found a surrogate who wanted to help, but who already had her own children and was sure she was finished having any more. She was emotionally health and also emotionally mature and wanted to help me build a family while also contributing to the well-being of her family through the financial compensation she would receive.
Physically, the surrogate and the embryo share an intimate connection as the surrogate’s body serves as the temporary home for the developing life. Through pregnancy, the surrogate provides a nurturing environment, supplying essential nutrients and protection to ensure the embryo’s growth and development. This physical connection is vital for the baby’s survival and well-being, as it relies on the surrogate’s body for sustenance and shelter.
Emotionally, the surrogate and the embryo may have differing levels of attachment. While the surrogate experiences the physical manifestations of pregnancy, such as feeling the baby’s movements and responding to its needs, her emotional connection to the baby can vary. Surrogates may have different motivations for entering into a surrogacy arrangement, ranging from altruistic reasons to financial considerations. Consequently, their emotional connection with the baby can span a spectrum from detachment to a sense of kinship or even a sense of a parental bond.
From a legal standpoint, the connection between the surrogate and the embryo is influenced by the prevailing laws and contractual agreements governing surrogacy. These legal frameworks typically define the rights and responsibilities of both parties involved. For example, in some jurisdictions, the surrogate may have legal obligations to protect the embryo’s well-being during pregnancy, while relinquishing parental rights after birth. Conversely, in other jurisdictions, the surrogate may retain certain rights or have a role in the decision-making process during the pregnancy. California is the most friendly state legally for surrogacy.
It is important to note that the connection between the surrogate and the embryo is distinct from the biological relationship that exists between the baby and its genetic parents. The genetic parents, whose gametes were used to conceive the embryo, contribute to the baby’s genetic makeup and hereditary traits. However, the surrogate’s role in the gestation process remains integral, as she carries and nurtures the baby until birth.
My surrogate has really positive feelings about her surrogacy experience and the baby and my new family. She has come to visit us periodically and is always happy to see the baby and get good reports, and our shared experience has made us good friends. My baby is two months old now, and we are all thrilled at how well the experience went. What a miraculous thing and way to bring new life to the world!
